I was reading the book ‘Marriage is Beautiful’ by Kalu I.Kalu, a friend of my husband. If you recall I mentioned the book in my last post. I haven’t finished reading it yet, but something I read got me pondering and I wanted to share my ponderings with you. Below is an excerpt of it.
……men are wired to approach life like mechanics. They see relationships as a machine that is not working as it should and therefore want to quickly get a new part, stick it in and get the thing up and running again.
………women ………approach life like farmers. A woman tends to see a relationship as a garden that is growing requiring nurture and attention. ……… She is emotionally as well as physically oriented.
– Chapter one, page 5, first paragraph
This point really struck me because it reminded me of my personal experiences in marriage. Both my own and others’ I have witnessed. Men truly do approach life, not just relationships, like mechanics. They are always prepared to “fix” things. They rarely, if ever, want to talk or discuss things. Whereas, we women are always ready to discuss things. When a relationship breaks a man’s reaction is to “replace” the relationship if he can’t “fix” it. But let me say here that this is not true for every man or woman. Some women can “nurture” a relationship to death!
So what is the recipe to a blissful and beautiful marriage. Kalu has a whole list of them in his book.
But what does the creator of the institution say? I’m sure you all are active on social media. I saw a little story doing the rounds recently about Henry Ford. Now I don’t know if this story is true or not but it is interesting. Below is a reproduction of it…..
One day a man’s Ford car broke down on the side of the road. Now this man knew a lot about cars so he tried fixing his own car. He tried different ways and each time he went to crank the engine, it wouldn’t start at all. He was a little stubborn, so rather than call for help, he continued to work alone. He tried everything and still nothing. The car wouldn’t start. A few minutes later another car pulled up beside him. Out stepped an old man and watched him for a few minutes. The old man looked at him and said, “Son, do you see this part? Just twist this one and you’re good to go.” The man thought in his mind; ‘There’s no way this old guy could know more about this car than me.’ Anyway, he gave it a try. He adjusted the part, got in the car and sure enough, the engine cranked to life! He was surprised and asked the old man; “How did you know what to do?” Then the old man smiled and said; “My name is Henry Ford. I’m the one who invented your car. And I know everything about it.”
When your life breaks down, don’t ever think that you know how to fix everything.. …that you don’t need any help. Always remember, only God knows how to fix our lives because we are His creation and HE LOVES US SO MUCH!
This story is a reminder that once we follow the Bible (user manual) that God (Creator) has given us we will always have a smooth running life.
→So, what does the Bible say about marriage? Let’s see, shall we?
Gen-2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (KJV)
Pro-18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. (KJV)
Pro-19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD. (KJV)
→And what are our responsibilities to each other?
Eph-5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (KJV)
1Co-7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (KJV)
1Co-7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. (KJV)
→And a special note:
Eph-5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (KJV)
Eph-5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (KJV)
Pro-12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. (KJV)
So in conclusion God created us in pairs and when He brings us together we are meant to forget our individual families and cleave/cling to each other. A man should love his wife as he loves himself and a woman should be submissive and respectful to her husband. A prudent wife is a blessing from God and brings God’s favor on her husband. A virtuous woman is a crown on her husband’s head. And a crown ought to be taken care of and treated with care, right?
If we follow these instructions we will really have a beautiful marriage and be a testimony amongst our fellow couples. We will shine bright as the lamp kept on a candlestick. We shall be a city on the hill. And when other couples see you they will desire to have what you do and thus you will have won more souls for the Lord, fulfilling His primary injunction to all believers.
Mat-5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. (KJV)
Man……this post ran longer than I’d planned!! Hope you’ll are still awake. I would love to hear what your take is on my ponderings.