Forgive – Easier said than done!

In my last post we had the author of the book Marriage is Beautiful with us and he explained to us how important Appreciation is in our marriage. In today’s post we once again have Kalu with us to tell us about another important ingredient in making our marriage beautiful.


‘Forgive and forget,’ ‘let bygone be bygone.’

We have all heard this over and over and even said it over and over at one time or the other. Is this really a true saying or just something we say to fill up the gap while our mind is busy adding and subtracting.

Someone said ‘it is easy to forgive but difficult to forget.’ Another one said ‘you can forgive but don’t ever forget.’ what then should be the right approach?

A husband came to me and complained, ‘I really love my wife but each time we have an argument she seems to lose focus of what we are arguing about and begins to say a lot of hurtful things, she will bring up my mistakes from the past, she will talk nonstop over me even when I try to make a point. We end up hating each other more and nothing is ever resolved.’

Yet, another lady said, ‘I caught my husband in adultery, I have forgiven him but I have to keep reminding him from time to time of the big thing I forgave him of, so that he doesn’t do it again.’

This is a typical case of what is going on in most relationship. We try to hold on to our spouses mistakes, why? Let the truth be told, so that we can manipulate them and subject them to our will. In our mind, that is what we want to achieve but in reality, we end up hurting ourselves the more and creating a bigger gap in an already shaky relationship.

Joseph named his first son Manasseh (forget) ‘because God has made me to forget all my trouble.’ And his second son Ephraim (double prosperity) ‘because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering.’ (Genesis 41:51, 52). Joseph did it. Yes, I can say that it is possible to forgive and forget. However we cannot do it on our own, we
need the help of the Holy Spirit. I will share with us 4 things I do to close the door on any wrong or mistake and open new one for prosperity.

 Refuse to live like a victim, stop looking for sympathy and start looking for solution

 Isolate every particular present issue from the past issue

 Allow perfect love to heal the hurt and scar

 Ask God to use you to reach out to others too.

Consciously learn to forget. I am not promising an easy road but with your mind focused on ‘love does not keep record of wrongs,’ you will make it.


Appreciation…a big word!

Hi y’all… So the last time I had written a little about this book called Marriage is Beautiful that I was reading. Well I have since finished the book and today I have a little treat for you. I asked the author of the book to write a little post for us. Below is what he wrote…….

I remember when my wife said the above words to me. She said it coolly, calmly and in a very soft voice. I was getting ready to go to the office then. I just smiled and said thank you.

I thought that was the end of it, but the words just kept on ringing in my ears for the rest of the day. I will be working on something and suddenly, I will just hear, you are the best husband ever all over again. Each time I hear the words, I will just start smiling all over again. I was so happy that day, putting cheerfulness into everything I was doing. Such is the power of appreciation.

Since then, my wife has kept on telling me on numerous occasions and in different ways how much she appreciates and loves me. Sometimes, it comes in a simple ‘thank you’ and at other times, with a surprise dish prepared and waiting for me as I come back home. On each of these occasions, this act has produced tenderness and a feeling in me that cannot be described by mere words. Any wife can make her husband to feel like a king by choosing the right words to build and uplift her husband. You can actually take your husband to great unimaginable heights of success by just speaking life giving words to your husband and showing appreciation as much as your creativity will allow you.

When you take a close look at it, saying thank you to our partner takes no effort, but is very important. There is nobody who is involved in a marriage union who won’t like to be appreciated. When your wife prepares for you a beautiful meal, telling them thank you and mentioning how beautiful the meal was makes them feel appreciated. Also telling your wife you value her contribution in the home and expressing your gratefulness for the effort she makes in taking care of the children will go a long way in boosting her self esteem.

A wife could also thank her husband for being the kind of man he is. She could appreciate him for everything he does for her and how happy she is to be with him. Men with their sensitive ego will always deeply feel this kind of appreciation. Thank you is a simple phrase that can give your marriage a new lease of life.

Begin today to show it!!!….

Marriage is Beautiful – An observation

I was reading the book ‘Marriage is Beautiful’ by Kalu I.Kalu, a friend of my husband. If you recall I mentioned the book in my last post. I haven’t finished reading it yet, but something I read got me pondering and I wanted to share my ponderings with you. Below is an excerpt of it.


……men are wired to approach life like mechanics. They see relationships as a machine that is not working as it should and therefore want to quickly get a new part, stick it in and get the thing up and running again.

………women ………approach life like farmers. A woman tends to see a relationship as a garden that is growing requiring nurture and attention. ……… She is emotionally as well as physically oriented.

– Chapter one, page 5, first paragraph

This point really struck me because it reminded me of my personal experiences in marriage. Both my own and others’ I have witnessed. Men truly do approach life, not just relationships, like mechanics. They are always prepared to “fix” things. They rarely, if ever, want to talk or discuss things. Whereas, we women are always ready to discuss things. When a relationship breaks a man’s reaction is to “replace” the relationship if he can’t “fix” it. But let me say here that this is not true for every man or woman. Some women can “nurture” a relationship to death!

So what is the recipe to a blissful and beautiful marriage. Kalu has a whole list of them in his book.

But what does the creator of the institution say? I’m sure you all are active on social media. I saw a little story doing the rounds recently about Henry Ford. Now I don’t know if this story is true or not but it is interesting. Below is a reproduction of it…..

One day a man’s Ford car broke down on the side of the road. Now this man knew a lot about cars so he tried fixing his own car. He tried different ways and each time he went to crank the engine, it wouldn’t start at all. He was a little stubborn, so rather than call for help, he continued to work alone. He tried everything and still nothing. The car wouldn’t start. A few minutes later another car pulled up beside him. Out stepped an old man and watched him for a few minutes. The old man looked at him and said, “Son, do you see this part? Just twist this one and you’re good to go.” The man thought in his mind; ‘There’s no way this old guy could know more about this car than me.’ Anyway, he gave it a try. He adjusted the part, got in the car and sure enough, the engine cranked to life! He was surprised and asked the old man; “How did you know what to do?” Then the old man smiled and said; “My name is Henry Ford. I’m the one who invented your car. And I know everything about it.”

When your life breaks down, don’t ever think that you know how to fix everything.. …that you don’t need any help. Always remember, only God knows how to fix our lives because we are His creation and HE LOVES US SO MUCH!

This story is a reminder that once we follow the Bible (user manual) that God (Creator) has given us we will always have a smooth running life.

→So, what does the Bible say about marriage? Let’s see, shall we?

Gen-2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (KJV)

Pro-18:22  Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. (KJV)

Pro-19:14  House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD. (KJV)


→And what are our responsibilities to each other?

Eph-5:23  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (KJV)

1Co-7:3  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (KJV)

1Co-7:4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. (KJV)


→And a special note:

Eph-5:33  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (KJV)

Eph-5:28  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (KJV)

Pro-12:4  A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. (KJV)

So in conclusion God created us in pairs and when He brings us together we are meant to forget our individual families and cleave/cling to each other. A man should love his wife as he loves himself and a woman should be submissive and respectful to her husband. A prudent wife is a blessing from God and brings God’s favor on her husband. A virtuous woman is a crown on her husband’s head. And a crown ought to be taken care of and treated with care, right?

If we follow these instructions we will really have a beautiful marriage and be a testimony amongst our fellow couples. We will shine bright as the lamp kept on a candlestick. We shall be a city on the hill. And when other couples see you they will desire to have what you do and thus you will have won more souls for the Lord, fulfilling His primary injunction to all believers.

Mat-5:16  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. (KJV)

Man……this post ran longer than I’d planned!! Hope you’ll are still awake. I would love to hear what your take is on my ponderings.

Marriage is beautiful indeed

I don’t know how many of you have read or heard about a book called “Marriage is beautiful” by Kalu Igwe Kalu. Turns out the author is a good friend of my husband. When Kalu first published this book last year he had given my husband a copy of it along with his previous book “Pursue your Passion”. I read both the books at that time, enjoyed it and then forgot about them! (*I know….I’m awful, right?) Anyways, to make a long story short, the book on marriage went on to become a huge success and the author traveled to the US multiple times organizing marriage seminars. Kalu came back to Nigeria and met up with hubs again. He had organized a Marriage is Beautiful Gala for couples in Nigeria and we were invited! The event was called The Game Changer In your marriage. It was a really well organized event with experienced guest speakers who shared with us their personal experiences and lessons learned in the school of marriage.




For me it was an opportunity to have some alone time with my husband. After 15 years of marriage and three kids, marriage had become kind of mundane. The romance was bogged down by responsibilities and financial constraints. We had forgotten how to laugh. Our 15th wedding anniversary will be on the 17th of this month of November. This Gala was like an early celebration of our anniversary. It really refreshed us as a couple and reminded me of the man I married. Once again I saw that shy but fun-loving, charismatic man I fell in love with all those years ago! And as a bonus we won a 3 nights, all expenses paid stay, at The Luxury City Hotel in Nigeria! Wonderful anniversary gift, I say! Right?!

What I especially like about the book and the Gala was that Biblical Principles of Love and Marriage were the cornerstones of it. The author has rightly understood that Marital Bliss can only be based on the foundation of Christ-like love. When you love Christ you see everything and everyone around with the eyes of Christ and a heart full of love. When this love filled eyes behold your spouse, all you see is what Christ sees in them. And true love is respectful and honorable. It is far easier for a woman to submit to a spouse she loves.

I was truly blessed both by the book and the gala. I am currently in the process of re-reading the book. And if I have anymore epiphanies I will be sure to share them with you. Till then…..may the love of God reign in your lives and marriages.

You can find Kalu Igwe on Facebook where you will find more stories about how this book as changed marriages.

Cha Cha Cha with Ice Yarns

I don’t think I have mentioned this before but I do have an online yarn store called Patchwork Creations ( We have some great deals on Ice yarns available. The yarns I bought are also Ice. I got one pack of Cha Cha Cha yarn ( cha-cha-cha-mixed-lot#) and one pack of Twin Ringlets ( twin-ringlets-light-olive- green-cream#inc579)


Never having worked with ruffle yarn or scarf yarn before I set out to do some research. After going through many different websites and youtube videos, all I saw were scarves, scarves and more scarves! So I set to work.And here is the fruit of my labour


And while I agree that the models are beautiful * cheeky grin ;D * the scarf itself left me feeling depressed! 😦

So obviously I went a-frogging! And came up with a faux sunhat for my DD instead.


She loves it! What do you think?

And for those of you that are interested, I’m in the process of writing out the pattern. Will post it soon!

Till then……happy craftin’!

Daily Prompt: Perplexed

via Daily Prompt: Perplexed


1> bewildered; puzzled

2> complicated; involved; entangled.

Perplexed! There are many things that leave me perplexed. How does gravity work? What’s in the centre of the earth? What is a black hole? How does my brain function? How is each snowflake, fingerprint, leaf different? Did dinosaurs really exist or not? Do aliens exist?

But to me the most perplexing thing of all are relationships. Of husband and wife, parents and children, siblings, friends etc. How do we all fit together? What makes some of us click and some blast? Why are relationships so involved and bewildering? What you say, what you do, what you think…all of it makes a difference. Husbands don’t understand wives and parents don’t understand children. Siblings don’t understand each other, they are always competing for their parents attention or material benefits. Parents are trying to teach children boundaries and values and morality. But they may not always be perfect in these same teachings. We tell our children that lying is bad, yet we tell lies ourselves. We call them ‘white lies’, harmless lies, lies of omission, etc. But a lie is a lie. It can’t be qualified. And it is confusing to those children we are teaching, that lying is wrong!

Relationships are confusing, involved and unnecessarily bewildering. There are rules for everything and everyone. Rules for husbands, wives, children, friends, acquaintances, neighbours etc. What is acceptable behavior and whats not. What to say, what to do…rules, rules everywhere.

The only relationship that is truly simple and uncomplicated is my relationship with Christ. His rules are simple. Love the Lord above all else and love your neighbour as yourself. Once you follow Him and these simple rules, all other relationships become less complicated. If husbands love their wives like themselves, they won’t cheat on them, beat them, ill treat them either physically or emotionally. Same for wives, if they love their husbands like themselves, they wouldn’t deny the husband his due, they too wouldn’t cheat. They wouldn’t lie to each other or their children. When children see their parents behave well, treating each other with respect and love and consideration, they will try to emulate the parents. The children will treat the parents with respect and honour. Peace will reign in the home. When these peaceful people go out, they will interact with all those they meet in a peaceful way. Anger and provocation will not follow their words and deeds. In this way all our relationships will be affected with the peace of Christ. And the presence of Christ, the God of light, will illuminate the darkness and disperse the confusion of complicated and entangled relationships.

At least that’s the ideal world I’d like to live in. But I know life is not always so cut and dried. We are only human and we are ruled by our weaknesses. Sometimes, when provoked, we get angry and even abuse and curse. We lose our peace. But the trick is to realise the weakness in ourselves, deal with it and overcome it. We will fall from time to time. But we must get up, dust ourselves off and continue trying. Someday, I will achieve that ideal! Till then I’ll just keep trying And whenever I get perplexed, I’ll look up to the Lord of Light and ask for His illumination to disperse the darkness and confusion.



A yarn about my crafty roots

I first learnt to knit when I was in third grade from an aunt. It was also taught formally in school the following year in craft/art class. But once I learnt crochet in my teens I kind of drifted away from knitting. Knitting can be complicated whereas crochet, atleast to me, is easier and faster. The last thing I knitted was a blanket, cap and booties when I was pregnant for my DD, in 2013. Since then I just packed my needles away.

A few months ago I bought some Ice Yarns. In it was a pack of Summer Yarns in black, grey and white variegated colours. I tried using it for many projects but nothing seemed to fit. I used it to make a hat for a friend (she did like it, though I’ve yet to see her wear it!)


Anyway, besides this one completed project I couldn’t make it work for anything else. I wanted to use it to make a hoodie vest for my DD, but none of the patterns really looked good. Till I finally decided to try a knitted pattern instead. And that’s what finally worked!!!



It’s the Baby Clouds Hoodie Vest from RedHeart Yarns’ website. Once I’d completed I loved it soooo much that I had to make another one for my DS.InstagramCapture_5ec439d0-4e0f-41d7-8397-3802a2bd2252

While the one made with the Ice Yarns yarn is a medium weight yarn the second one was made with the locally available fingering weight yarn. So I did have to make some changes. I had to increase the number of stitches to get the right size. I accomplished that by working up gauge swatches! I never was more grateful for having learned about the importance of swatching!! The size turned out perfectly.



And now I’m on a roll!! I can’t seem to put down those knitting needles! Here are some of my FOs and WIPs….


This is technically a top designed by Madeleine Nilsson from Yarn Madness. I just elongated it a little to turn it into a tunic.








I really like her designs for the unique and simple, all-in-one-piece construction style. I hate seaming and Ms. Nilsson is a woman after my own heart!! I love her designs and can’t wait to try out some more of her designs.

My current WIP though, is a dress called Elenka, designed by Inna Aleksandrova from the Knitty site. Besides the dress I’m also working on making crocheted Alphabets for the little ones to play. They are based on the pattern from Tamara Kelly from Mooglyblog. More on them later.

And that’s it from me. What’s going on with you then???